Andy and I don’t get the opportunity to go to the temple as often as we’d like, only a few times a year, so when we go, we usually do endowment sessions because they’re longer than sealings and initiatories and we try to make the hour and a half drive to and from the temple feel “worth it.” Which is truly silly, because every one of the ordinances done in the temple is a saving ordinance. Anyway, I have been feeling a desire to do sealings for a few months now as a source of comfort with Andy’s impending deployment, but hadn’t had the chance, so it felt like fate when the only session when we were available happened to be a sealing session. When we got to the sealing room, we waited for a while, because the other couple that was in that session was waiting on swapping childcare. We waited in the peaceful room, feeling unrushed peaceful- a feeling that normally resides in the temple. The couple that arrived late hadn’t brought names and I, not having done sealings in a while, brought more than I was supposed to. I offered for the other couple to use some of my names. They went through three couples and then Andy and I did two couples and three children. The elderly couple that was there did three couple names and then we had about 15 minutes left in the session. The sealer offered to continue with the extra names I brought. I handed over about a dozen sealing to parent names (girls and boys). We started with the boys first. The spirit was always there, but as we made it to the last name, there wasn’t a dry eye in that room. The name was “Baby Boy Eggers.” The name was from 1899 in Missouri. The sealer said, “that child has been waiting a long time to be sealed to his parents.” I was thinking that the parents had waited a long time for their boy to be sealed to them, but I am sure that both are true.
I told Andy, as we were leaving the temple that it seems like we have more spiritual experiences in the temple doing sealings than other ordinances (though the others are always fortifying and calming). I have yet to walk away from an experience as profound as I’ve had doing sealings. He agreed with me and then I commented that eternal families are really what this work– this life, is all about. A sealing is truly the crowning ordinance. It is the ordinance that leads to exaltation, the true and everlasting covenant. While each of the prerequisite covenants are stepping stones to that moment, a sealing is the ultimate goal. I find the greatest comfort in that ordinance. Our Savior’s atonement, his breaking of the bands of death through the resurrection, his conquer over spiritual death, are what make eternal families possible. After having lost loved ones: my brother, grandparents, etc. I lean on that comfort when I miss them, when I feel alone or lost, and when I look for hope in the future.
This week Andy went to Young Men’s camp with Max. I was grateful Max got that experience and I knew that Andy would have a blast as well, that it would hopefully buoy up his spirits before his deployment, but Maverick and Beverly, and at times I, struggled with his absence, knowing he’d leave shortly after his return for a much longer period of time. I was going through my phone, deleting voicemails that had been sent years ago when I came across a couple from my Mother-in-law’s mom. I listened to them and choked up. I loved that woman so much. Still do. I have had experiences in my life where I have felt specific angels around me– my mom’s mom, my grandma’s mom and aunt, my grandpa cook (when reading scriptures), my grandma Rasband when cooking, sometimes I feel a profound presence. Sometimes I just know they’re there quietly watching me and pleased with what I’m doing. But there are times when I’m struggling and I think, “I need one of you with me now.” But then I think about a cousin or a sibling that needs them more and I say, “I’m ok. You help them.” I don’t know how they help, but I truly know they do. They’ve strengthened me and helped me hold myself together during challenging times. There have been moments when I’ve wished for Andy’s grandma, Beverly’s namesake, but I feel selfish doing that, knowing she has her own biological grandchildren. But when I listened to that voicemail, I realized that she doesn’t look at it as “he’s blood, she’s not.” The image of Andy and I staring at our reflection in the repeating mirrors in the temple reminded me that when we were sealed to each other, that my family is his, and his is mine. That we all have legions of ancestors that are at our aid. I truly believe this. In the Church of Jesus Christ, we believe that the spirit world is here on Earth, these angels walk among us. As a mother myself, I can imagine no greater fulfilling existence than helping my descendants in anyway that I could, and I believe most of our ancestors probably feel the same way. This knowledge has helped me many times and continues to comfort me as I imagine parenting these darling kids of ours alone for the next nine to twelve months. I know I will need as much help as I can get and perhaps there are plenty of ancestors to go around.
I missed blogging last week, but we finished off our time at the farm with some pool time and shootin’ at the farm along with more fireworks and a picnic. We love seeing the Jacksons and spending time at their farm. We pitch in on the work both at home and at the farm and are grateful for the opportunity our kids have to learn the value of work.
The boys and I got to do some shotgun shooting on the farm. I tried a few shots and called it quits… I don’t love the way my shoulder feels after shooting a shotgun. I do love pistol shooting though, maybe next time. Andy was a good instructor. The boys were both better shots than their mom.
After a long drive home on Tuesday, we got to work at our own home- mowing the lawn, unpacking, and doing other games of catch up. We celebrated Andy’s promotion with our neighbors and they gave him a goodie bag with fireworks and his favorite snacks (a monster and some jerky). Max had his 12th birthday and celebrated it by playing video games with Tripp, Charlie, and Maverick. Maverick said, “Mom, when it’s my birthday, I want to have the same party as Max… I just want to invite a couple of friends like Dylan, Jackson, Rhett, Grant, and Tripp and Charlie. I was like, buddy we don’t have THAT many computers. So he’ll either have to cut back on the guest list or come up with a different plan. Knowing Mav, he’ll probably pick a different activity. Max and Andy got to go to Young Men’s camp this past week and had a great time. At home, I entertained and kept the other kids’ spirits up with some arts and crafts, shopping, and Taco Bell.
