This week was busy busy! Max had an orthodontist appointment Monday, only to discover he’d broken his permanent retainer so they had to make a new one and we had to come back when it was ready, so I scheduled the return for Wednesday. When I told Max what time, he was worried about missing his diagnostic testing so I moved it to his lunch hour. We had to get it in this week and they’re closed Friday and Thursday I was going to be gone all day in Columbia, SC. Anyway, we made it work, but he reminded me after the appointment that he’d missed his lunch. I eyed his full lunch box then looked at him and could tell he wanted to use this as an excuse to go to lunch with his mom. I am learning to slow down and enjoy these moments because before I know it, he’ll be out of the house. I let him pick where we ate and asked him if he wanted to drive through or go in. He picked go in. I got an ear full for about 30 minutes and I loved it. Max can be talkative when he has something he’s passionate about, but most of the time, he doesn’t give me a lot of details about his life. We talked about his favorite game, Hell Divers, his classes, his robotics class, and then he asked me what I was going to do once I’d dropped him back at school. I said, “Probably clean my bathroom and work on my book.” He said, “Oh.” I replied, “Why do you ask?” “How often do the carpets need to be cleaned?” I could see where this was heading. “Well, I don’t know. Depends on how often they get dirty. Less so now that we don’t let Daisy upstairs, but they’re probably due for another cleaning.” He said, “Do you think you could get it done?” I laughed.
“Max, you know the chalkboard in the kitchen?” He nodded. “That is my extra to-do list. All the things I have to do on top of my regular work load of laundry, dishes, floors, bathrooms, etc. I usually have enough time to do one chore a day when I have appointments like this (and I’ve had appointments like this pretty much every day since they started school). You can add it to the list, but I don’t know when I’ll get to it, because some of those other things are higher on the priority list.” Plus, cleaning the carpet sounds way easier than it is. First, I have to make sure all the kids’ clutter is picked up and off the floor, then vacuum with a regular vacuum and then use the shampooer. Honestly the last two parts are the easiest part, but the kids’ rooms stay clean for a few hours on a Saturday, so when I do wind up doing it, it’ll have to be then.
After explaining that to him, he said, “I can do it Saturday.” It made me so proud. Yes, I thought it was silly that he wanted to add to my chore list, but when he realized how overwhelmed I was, he offered to step up and take care of it for me. It really isn’t urgent and it didn’t get done Saturday, but I still think it’s awesome that he realized that maybe he could pitch in a bit. He usually mows for me, but the weather has been soooo wet that I take care of it when we have a few hours of no rain, so it’s harder and usually not when Max is available.
Aside from orthodontist appointments, Bev stayed home sick Monday/Tuesday. I had grocery runs, baseball practices, piano lessons, and dance. I got to work out most days, some at the gym but most at home because Beverly was sick. Thursday I went to Columbia to fix the seatbelt sensor on the Tesla. I didn’t know how long it would take them, so I’d scheduled an initiatory session for a couple of hours after the Tesla appointment. Well the Tesla repair took less than 20 minutes, so I made it to the temple very early. I asked if I could do an earlier session, but they were booked. I asked if I could just hang out in the celestial room for a bit and they told me their temple policy is that you have to have done an ordinance before you can go in there. I feel that’s a little silly, but I said ok. The temple matron was kind though and said, “Let’s see if the other initiatory sisters will let you do one name real fast.” They did and so I spent the rest of my wait time in the celestial room. The peace felt in the temple is unreal. I told Andy later that they really need a napping room in the temple, because I don’t sleep well at home due to my anxiety, but when I’m in the temple, that anxiety melts away and I feel like, if I was able to sleep, it would be the best sleep of my life. While waiting, this darling lady came walking into the dressing room. She looked so much like my grandma Ila that it instantly brought tears to my eyes and I felt a gentle presence of my grandma, reminding me that she is with me. She has so many grandchildren that I am sure she makes her rounds, but it brings me so much comfort to know that I have ancestors (probably some I’ve never met) that are with me and watching over me and my kids during this time. I know they are with Andy too. I was grateful for the opportunity to do initiatories because I haven’t done them in years. I usually do an endowment session or sealing session. Anyway, hearing the promised blessings from the Lord for choosing to follow him was rejuvenating and uplifting. It made me feel closer to Andy and our role as an eternal couple, and gave me an added strength to carry on.
That evening was a much different affair. I went to a bar with some friends to sing karaoke for one of their birthdays. It was fun, but when we left, I turned to Lindsay and said, “You know, I’m super grateful we’re members of the church, because most of those people in their looked so lost… and honestly if I was single and those were my options I’d be really sad.” I think when people meet at bars, it is a lot less glamorous than what the media portrays. Regardless, singing with my friends was fun, but I did regret how late we stayed as I woke up with another migraine (third that week) that was worse than the others because I didn’t get enough sleep.
Friday, I had an appointment to meet with Harvey’s teacher. I was nervous at first when she requested a meeting, but then I had a couple of days to think about it and if it was for behavior, she would’ve reached out to me over the phone or with a note before meeting in person. When we met, she told me that Harvey is “behind” his peers. As a former teacher and a mother of four I really don’t like that terminology. First of all, I have seen Max struggle and now he’s one of the top in his class. I remember going to a doctor appointment for Max when he was two and telling the doctor I was worried about Max’s speech. The doctor observed Max for a bit and said, “I’m not too worried about it. He is way advanced in his kinesthetic skills for someone of his age, he’s just been putting his brain power into different areas. He’ll get there.” He did end up in speech therapy, but he did get there and he’s thriving! Of course, he still has to work hard to do well in reading, but he does! Learning comes easy for Maverick, but he doesn’t always apply himself. He likes to rush through things, finding tests and quizzes tedious and boring. My point is, each kid is different and as I watch Harvey draw far better than his peers, I know he’s just put his learning in other areas. Plus he learned most of his letters and numbers 1-20 in preschool last year and has just forgotten a bunch, but it’ll come back as he goes to school and has more repetition. We read as a family every evening and I take time to point out his focus letters. I know he’ll get there. I think it was just required for her to meet with the “lowest” tier, because other parents told me they had to go in for a meeting too. Honestly, I would’ve been more worried if it had been a behavior issue. It’s only the third week of Kindergarten, he’ll get there. After that meeting, I got to go to Freakier Friday with my girlfriends. We giggled the entire movie and it totally made us feel old but we loved it. That evening, I made cupcakes and let the kids decorate them and they had a blast. Maverick went to the back to school bash and was on cloud 9 when I picked him up. He was having a good week. I love seeing my kids have joy, because there are moments when the weight of their dad’s absence brings tears to their eyes and mine. I tell them that I’m sad too, but we can’t sit in that sadness too long or it’ll drag us down. We have to look forward to Myrtle Beach with Andy and his family, Aspen grove with mine, Beverly’s baptism, and so much more. Beverly said she was looking forward to going on a Daddy-daughter date.
It was Beverly’s turn to go on a date this weekend. I thought we were going to Artsy Me (a pottery painting studio), but she changed her mind and wanted to do Panera and Target. I told her I’m done buying toys on dates, so she bought her own, but we had fun shopping and eating.
I’ve been working on my novel every chance I get and it is starting to come along. I’ve gotten some of the major plot edits done or almost done, so I’m almost able to go back to the fun part of just writing. Then there will be more edits. But I’m getting really excited about where it’s headed.
In primary, I’ve been dressing up and talking as a pirate to get the kids excited to sing the same songs they’ve been singing all year to get ready for the Primary Program. Ours is in the middle of September this year because of Stake Conference, General Conference, and then it’s the holidays after that, so I wanted to get it done before things got crazy, especially with Andy being gone. I didn’t realize how much the kids would love the Pirate theme, but they have never been so engaged and I’ve never been able to get through as many verses and songs before. I knew I wanted to do a game board and as they master a song, we can progress along the board, but the idea for a pirate map came because my Primary president bought a treasure box so I just followed her lead. It has been so fun with the kids. Each land mark has brought on new activities (though I’m repeating last week’s because there were so many options for the kids). The first week I had one hide a treasure piece and the other kid had to find it while the rest of us sang soft to loud as they got close to the treasure. The second week, I painted and wrote on 50 3D coins. Nearly 50 different activities to do while singing the song (staccato, legato, slow, fast, loud, quiet, jumping, air sword fighting, etc). The kids have loved it and love taking turns picking from the treasure. If I can figure out how to 3D print words to the back of another batch of coins, I want to have it say, “Treasure the Word.” And let each one of them take home a piece of the treasure at the end. The kids love it, but the adults have for sure told me that they love the pirate voice. lol. I told them what happens in the primary room stays in the primary room.
