With the passing of our prophet last weekend, there was a lot of speculation about what would happen this weekend. While we didn’t sustain a new prophet, we did sustain the twelve as prophets, seers, and revelators. The speculation was unnecessary as the church has a great system set in place for moments like these. The organization of the church strengthens my testimony. Our church doesn’t fall into chaos with the passing of a prophet, but through inspiration, our church has established order to keep us grounded and moving forward. There were so many talks this weekend that were uplifting and inspiring. There was one message that kept speaking to my heart through every song and speaker, and it was this: Trials and tribulations shall come, will strengthen me, prove me, but also be such a small moment with an eternal perspective. It is so hard to be away from Andy. Hard because I love him and he’s my best friend. Hard because the work load seems so much heavier. Hard because my kids are struggling without their dad. Hard because I see how miserable Andy is over there. But I’m so incredibly grateful that he is just physically distant and not gone from this world. I’m also grateful that he’s as present of a dad as he can be through phone calls, Marco polos, and gaming with the kids. I’m grateful that this is temporary and that he’ll be home in a bit over six months. It feels forever away, but there is an end.
My body, however still fights me on things. It feels the stress more than I do. I just go through the motions and try to get stuff done. I feel like I’m always running from one errand to another or helping one kid manage their grief then the next. I have a never ending list of tasks that need to get done or I’d like to get done, but finding the time for everything is challenging. I had a tender mercy this week, though. I switched my meds last weekend and went migraine free for an entire week! I had little headaches a few of the days, but it was nothing compared to what I’d been suffering. Then I woke up with another migraine this morning. I’m not sure what was different or what triggered it, but I can tell you my tinnitus is so loud it is making it hard to hear the kids. For these reasons, it was talks like “I (the Lord) am proving you, but I am with you,” and so many more that rang peace to my heart. In the earlier months of this deployment, I could tangibly feel angels amongst us. I am struggling to feel that now, most likely because I am feeling so poorly, but I have faith that they are still with us and carrying more of the load than I realize. I am hoping that with continued adjusting and doctor visits, that I can figure out these migraines, but for now, I push through and carry on.
With the shooting in Michigan, my heart has been humbled. What they are going through has to be so incredibly scary and difficult. The opening hymn of the conference was, “Now let us rejoice.” “When all that was promised, the saints will be given, and none shall molest them from morn until even.” With the horrible things they are going through, this song reminded me of the persecution the early saints received just for believing differently than others. I thought we’d risen above physical violence of other’s disdain for our beliefs, but I guess some have not. But the promises to the saints are great both on earth and in heaven. I pray for healing for the victims’ families and for others who were affected by that terrifying incident.
I really need to be better about taking pictures, but Mav’s the star of my library this week.
