He’s home!

A friend wrote of her thoughts of Easter week:

“Each of us will have our own Fridays–those days when the universe itself seems shattered and the shards of our world lie littered about us in pieces… But I testify to you in the name of the One who conquered death–Sunday will come,” Elder Wirthlin. My friend continues, “Sometimes those Fridays last much longer than just one day. Sometimes they may stretch out into months and even years. But God has promised us the Sunday. His day of rest, renewal, and Resurrection will come because Christ faithfully fulfilled his mission and overcame ALL, and he did it for me, and for you, and for ALL.”

These past months have felt a bit like that “Friday.” Not all days have been hard or bad, but the accumulation of the nine months apart were challenging and exhausting for all of us. Now that he is back, it is almost like a dream that he was gone or a dream that he is home. My friend Katie asked me if I’d gotten sick or was dragging since he got home, because sometimes when her husband goes out of town, when he gets back it’s as if her body finally allows her or forces her to rest. I almost laughed when she said that because that’s exactly how it’s been since he’s been home. He and I have almost napped every day. I napped a couple of days during the nine month deployment, but every time I tried, I was restless and didn’t really feel like I slept. Now, even at night, I sleep so incredibly deeply. My body finally feels like it doesn’t have to be “on” all the time. If a kid needs something and I’m busy, there’s another adult to help me out! It’s amazing how his presence truly makes such a difference. We made chicken Parmesan for dinner last night, which is not an easy dinner, but it felt easy because allll of the extra stuff I usually have to do while making dinner (taking out the trash, doing the dishes, helping any kid with their interrupting needs, etc), was taken care of by Andy so I could just focus on getting dinner on the table. As I’ve been pondering on the Savior’s atonement and his resurrection I am once again touched by the timing of Easter coinciding with where I’m at in my life. This breath of fresh air of having Andy home is a reminder of the hope of the resurrection of my Savior after feeling like we’re barely surviving during so much of our life. My friend and realtor posted about the death of her stillborn child 24 years ago today and how today was a reminder of the hope of eternal life for her and her daughter. It was also a comforting reminder of the death of my brother. Thomas died thirty-three years ago on April 3rd and was buried April 6th. These dates coincide with the resurrection of our Savior and are always a reminder of the promise that I will see my little brother again. I have felt my brother’s presence throughout my adult life and childhood. I have learned recently angels take on specific assignments and so I haven’t felt him with me for quite some time, but I know the assignment he is on is so important and I am grateful for the times that he has been present in my life. That being said, I have not been left alone. During the last nine months, my testimony of ministering angels (both earthly and heavenly) has been strengthened. Before Andy left, he gave the kids and I a blessing. In a couple of the blessings it was mentioned that we would have angels with us. There were specific times that I felt them, but there were many times that I was sure they were there, but I was too stressed to feel their presence. I was reminded of that promise again when my dad gave my kids and I a blessing at Christmas time. I know I have a gift to feel their presence at times, but I also know that I am not unique in having them in my life. These angels, especially our ancestors, are eager and willing to minister to us on the other side of the veil. I still don’t quite understand how they do their work, but I know that they do it.

I’m incredibly grateful and humbled by my Savior’s atonement. I am eager and excited for the day when he returns in all his glory and pray that I am ready and worthy.