Last night, the kids wanted to have a campout. Given that we are still in quarantine, we set up the tent in the backyard. We also started a fire in the fire pit and cooked hotdogs for dinner; well, the kids had hot dogs. Me and Elise had leftover jambalaya that she made. It was delicious.
After dinner, they all sat in the tent and played. At around 1930, Bevy came inside and said, “I tired.” She wanted to sleep in her bed. I went outside to lay down with the kids. I told them, “if you wake up and I’m not here, it’s because I’m inside sleeping.” Max wanted to know why I would go sleep inside. Finally, after 5 minutes of trying to explain it, Max says, “it’s because you’re old?” I agreed with him and that was that. We cuddled for a while and after they where sound asleep, I snuck inside to sleep on our Tempurpedic. In case you were wondering, the Tempurpedic is way better than a blow up mattress.
We heard the boys waking up and they said they didn’t get scared at all. They had so much fun sleeping in the tent they asked if they could do it again tonight. It was fun. I hope when this whole thing blows over, they will realize it was a fun to spend so much time with their dad.
On that note, my boss is putting 3 of us on elective this month so we can stay home. We all have pregnant wives that are due this month. They are concerned about putting our wives at risk. I understand their concern and am thankful they care so much about us, but a part of me feels like I am not doing my duty as a physician. When I think too much about it, I start to wonder if it is because I am not a good physician. I know that it isn’t true, and I know that it makes sense for me to be at home, but I feel a small sadness for not helping right now. My colleagues are understanding of whey they are keeping some of us home, and they don’t look down on me and are not mad. Our worst enemy is always our self.
That aside, I am having so much fun with my kids at home. I am also way less stressed knowing I will be there to help Elise when the baby comes. That is a huge blessing from being benched for a month. I have also been able to get a lot of house chores done. That has been nice. I built Elise a planter box. I am proud of that. I truly am happy to get to be home with the family.
I know I just need to keep up on medicine, cause a month is a long time to go and you would be amazed how much you forget in such a short time. Every time we do an off service rotation and then come back to the Department, the first few days it is slow going as you have to start remembering how to be an Emergency Physician again. After a few days it all clicks and you are running full tilt, but it is always a steep relearning curve.
I know the Lord is blessing our family in these hard times. I am thankful that I can be home. I know that everything will be alright, alright, alright.