Start of the school year

Max is back at school. We made the tough decision to put him in and pushed forward with faith. But my faith was tested when he came home on the first day and when asked how his first day was, the tears came. His best friend had moved to a different school, he had to wear a mask all day, he was starving because he hadn’t eaten anything since lunch which was “early” at 11 AM, and the math was hard. To be honest, I didn’t like his best friend much; he was a self absorbed little kid with parents that were bad influences, but I knew how much he meant to Max, so my heart hurt for him. After wrestling with his dad, he felt much better and the rest of the days he has come home happy or tired, but no more tears. He still complains of wearing the mask often. I asked him what was different this year than last year with the “sickness” it’s what Max called the corona virus.

“We have to wear masks all the time, well almost all the time. In music class we don’t sing, but use instruments instead. Things are the same in PE. We eat lunch in the classroom. I don’t get to play with all of my friends at recess, just my class.” So it doesn’t seem too different, but enough to throw a little boy. Especially Max who loves and thrives on routine and ritual. Andy and I told him at the beginning that we would reassess things after a month to see how he was doing emotionally and academically. I am a teacher. I know how to teach, but as I told him yesterday after a fifteen minute argument about what shoes he should wear to football tryouts, “I can’t home school you if you don’t listen to me.” For Max and I, I think he does best with a structured school environment with a teacher that is not his mom.

I made him put his mask on one more time (I forgot to take pictures before school). He wasn’t too happy to comply, though ironically his mask would imply otherwise.
Despite the smile, he was really on the verge of tears. He’s a tough kid, but still has such a gentle heart.

Yesterday was a bit of a rough day at the end of a rough week. Max in tears at football tryouts was very symbolic of how I was feeling on the inside. I failed a mom yesterday. I read “Righteous, Intentional Parenting,” by Ralphie Jacobs this morning. I already felt guilty for how I handled the chaos and disruptions of yesterday, but this talk was insightful and painful. I have a lot to work on.

He had gotten lost when I dropped him off to go park. I didn’t handle the whole situation very well and instead of hugging him in his moment of fear, I told him to toughen up. I am being honest and confessing my imperfections so hopefully others don’t follow my example, but please don’t judge me.
This followed the disaster of football tryouts. I handled this just fine and my heart was touched when I had Max watch him in the tub while I cleaned up his carseat.
You can’t see the live photo, but Harvey was kicking with glee at the attention from his brother.
One of the best quarantine purchases we’ve made is the “nugget” my kids have loved building forts with it. They use it almost every day. The make forts, platforms for their cars, and more.
And we’ll end on a cute note because we need this.
Traeger chicken with avocado ranch salad. Andy and I are working on improving our health and fitness
Veggie Frittata has become one of my go to lunches thanks to Adrienne.

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