Joy in the Every day.

I wasn’t able to blog last week, because I was out of town, so I’m going to share the joys from our normal days from the past two weeks in this short blog before I get into Mother’s Day festivities. I don’t always take pictures of the things that bring me joy. Like laughing with friends, giggling about the way Maverick calls fingers “thingers” or when Afton explains that the handicap chair at the pool is supposed to “chuck” those with a “broken leg” into the pool. Or when Maverick calls piano, pinano. Or Harvey’s running start before he jumps in the pool. Beverly’s insistence to do everything herself and taking on the mom role while making her brothers’ breakfast and lunch as her mom rolls out of bed in the early morning. I don’t always record how Max’s never-ending questions both drive me crazy and also make me smile. He asks questions that I’ve never even wondered. The way his brain works is truly a unique and beautiful thing. I don’t always take time to record how much Andy’s little prayers with me before work jostle me from my sleep and still seem to be endearing. I sometimes fixate on the anxiety that plagues my mind when I worry if I’m lovable enough. When I worry if my friends feel the same way about me as I do them. When I worry about my kids in school, socially, and spiritually. When I have random panic attacks that Andy won’t make it home safe (he always does… but well, life is fragile). But when I focus on the smile that my kids put on my face as they hug me so tight that they start shaking or when they giggle and laugh at each other, then life seems so much brighter and those anxieties seem so much less prevalent. I want to be good at something. I want to have a label like, “Oh, Elise… she’s really good at _____” but maybe those things don’t matter as much as the affect I have on their lives. That when all is said and done, will they remember how loved they are? How much I enjoyed their childhood and not how exhausted I was? I hope so. They are my world. I am in such a better headspace than I was two years ago and even more so than three or four years ago, but it wasn’t easy getting to where I’m at. I feel like my little family has hit a sweet spot. The youngest is more capable and so freakin’ hilarious. The oldest is so sweet and responsible and a year away from babysitting age. And the middle two are discovering who they are and finding their own interests and sparks of joy. I really love being a mom. So maybe people won’t think of me when they need a painting. Or maybe they won’t think of me when they want someone to sing in church. I mean, those things are fine and great, but I want, above all else, for my kids to remember how loved they are. If I can accomplish that, then nothing else really matters.

We finished celebrating Harvey’s birthday with a bang. We had all of our neighborhood friends over, per his request. We had a great time and Harvey was thrilled to celebrate his “Bir-day” with his friends.

We finished Maverick’s baseball season (Andy’s first time coaching baseball). Andy said it was a lot easier than football and seemed to enjoy it a bit more. Maverick improved and they had a great season!

Andy got Maverick a bike that actually fit him, so he finally learned how to ride a bike. He was a little bugged because while Andy was busy helping him learn how to balance on the bike, Beverly grabbed her bike, got up and just started peddling. She was a pro-biker before too long, and self-taught at that! Harvey’s still struggling to know how to steer and peddle so Andy picked up a trike for him to figure it out. He is getting lots of practice!