What a week…

Harvey’s face pretty much sums up my emotions for this week. Where do I even start? I guess we’ll start at the beginning which wasn’t horrible and had some good, but also some annoying/ worrying moments. Friday of last week I was driving around and my oil light popped on. When I got home, Andy went and looked at it. The oil was full and clean so he guessed it was a sensor but it meant that there may be a leak too so he wasn’t comfortable with me driving it so we took turns driving the Tesla around and on the rare occasion that we both had somewhere to be, he took the jeep and I got the Tesla. Andy was pretty stressed out the day we found out that we needed to do some repairs on my car because he was doing taxes and who doesn’t get stressed out while doing taxes? We are both feeling the crunch time of his imminent deployment and we’re not too excited about it. We had grandeur plans for house projects before he takes off, but we forgot that we’d also be living a normal life with his work schedule and my running the kids around schedule so the projects have been slow going and will probably have to be drastically reduced, but that’s ok. I just want to enjoy him before he leaves. He also has to go to a training this Thursday and will be gone till next Thursday which isn’t a horribly long time but is quite annoying considering he’ll be leaving us so soon for six+ months.

Anyway, I scheduled to take the car in, because Andy was just too overwhelmed to add one more thing to his list, but almost immediately after I scheduled it, he told me to cancel it because he was sure he could fix it for far less. He finally had time on Thursday and he said it took him far less time to actually fix it than he thought it would. It runs now with no check oil or engine light so I think he did a good job! Ok, but back to last Sunday, (sorry, welcome to how my brain works) Harvey woke up with what looked like a bug bite reaction or a shiner, but we were so confused as to what caused it. He had been kicked in the face on the previous Thursday because he ran in front of a swing set at school, and it had left a little mark, but we didn’t think much of it because it looked better the next day, but when his shiner began to look even worse on Monday and the little brown spot got even bigger, Andy decided it must’ve been from the kick and the injury had become infected. He prescribed Harvey antibiotics, but even after having two rounds of antibiotics, it was still looking worse. Andy is an exceptional doctor (more on that later), but my mama nerves were a wreck. It was his eye! But Andy reminded me that Harvey was his kid too, and that he never took eye injuries lightly and was going above and beyond to prevent anything from getting worse. Still, I worried. Wednesday we headed to the temple (I’ll come back to Tuesday because that was an interesting day too). I sat down in the endowment room and our former Stake President’s wife sat next to me, she just so happens to be an ophthalmologist. I waited till our session was over and asked her in the dressing room if she wouldn’t mind looking at the pictures I’d taken of Harvey’s eye. When she told me exactly what Andy had told me, I felt a rush of peace and relief. I promise it isn’t because I don’t trust Andy, it was just helpful to have a second witness. But Andy did get the satisfaction of saying, “I told you so,” with an added, “You know I see that stuff more than she does– she does cataract surgery.” Both fair points, but I couldn’t help but feeling the beauty in God’s hand. What were the odds that this lady would be at the same session as me in the middle of a week day? Truly she was evidence that God is mindful of me and my family.

Ok backtrack to Tuesday, another experience that shows me God is in the details, but this time it was for another family. All day Tuesday I felt the urge to go to activities with Andy and the kids (it’s his calling and three of our four kids have to be at the church on Tuesday nights). I wasn’t really sure why I felt like I needed to go, usually I don’t want to go. I had a few things I needed to do for my calling, but there was no rush on them and I could’ve easily have done them Today, but I followed through on the prompting. I had to ask for a ride from Lindsay, which was nice to talk and have that time as we’ve both been rather busy. Anyway, on our way home I saw Andy pulled to the side of the road in front of another car. I panicked, thinking that he had gotten in a wreck. Lindsay pulled over and as soon as I got out of the car, I realized it was our friend Josh. I was like, “oh great, we got in a wreck with our friend.” But fortunately it wasn’t a wreck, but unfortunately for Josh, his tired popped. He didn’t have a spare. It was a school night, dark, barely any street lights in the back woods of Harlem, so I didn’t really want to leave Josh there alone while he waited for a tow truck. I told Andy to stay with him and I’d take the kids home in the Tesla and Lindsay could take the Roger kids home along with her own and get them to bed. Jay, Lindsay’s husband, passed me on my way home to go help out. But they had a good laugh when he got there because aside from a ride home, he forgot to bring anything that would help, but it was kind of beautiful to see our little neighborhood family being there for each other. I texted Lindsay, “I guess now I know why the spirit was telling me I needed to go to the church with my family tonight. They needed an extra driver so I could get my kids home and Andy could stay with Josh.”

Ok, back to Wednesday. On our drive home from the temple, Andy got a call from his buddy Stephen Ingle who did residency with him. He said, “hey man, are you PCSing (military speak for a permanent change of station aka a move) here?” Stephen is currently at Fort Riley. We laughed instantly. Andy replied, “Nah, man, I’m deploying.” Stephen replied, “Yeah, that’s what I thought. It must be some other Andrew Jackson.” I piped in, “There’s another EM Army Andrew Jackson? What are the odds?” Stephen replied, “Well, Andrew Jackson is a fairly common name.” I thought that though that may be true, the chances of them both being EM Army was a bit far reached, but we thought, if anything, it was just a clerical error, because Andy was getting deployed and nobody told us we were PCSing. We knew that the spot at Eisenhower was a three-year spot, but Andy’s boss has told him countless time that we weren’t going to get moved and he was going to keep Andy here. No one told Andy to look at AIM (the list of possible places you’d like to move). We were given zero heads up. The next day, Andy checked his email. Checking work emails is difficult because it’s encrypted, so he usually just waits till he’s at work. Anyway, Andy discovered that Stephen was indeed right, we were given news that we were PCSing to Fort Riley in July. This was a huge blow and so confusing. Why hadn’t we been informed? How would we get PCS’d while Andy would be in Kuwait for the ordered dates. If they don’t PCS us till after he gets back, he’ll have less than a year left in the army, but Army code or rules or whatever would mandate he extend to complete at least one full year at his next duty station. Uh…. no. Heck no. Especially after the crap they’re pulling right now. Andy initially said, “I’ll just take all my leave so they’ll only have me for like six months and I’ll leave you guys here and just be a bachelor there.” When I told him I didn’t like that idea, he said it would be too hard to the kids to change schools in the middle of the year. I told him, “I think it would be harder on them to be without their dad for a year and a half than it would be to change schools. I can homeschool if needed, but I don’t think we should split up our family. We can rent this house out and rent a place there and make it work if we have to. Let’s just hope we don’t have to. The one whose signatures are all over the PCS paper work was supposed to notify us. He claims he did via email. Andy scoured his emails and came up empty. This guy forwarded the email he “sent” to Andy, but it was sent to the wrong email address. Soo…. because of this dude’s screw up we are left scrambling with zero choice as to where we go. But wait, it gets better. Andy’s boss and the Colonel who is in charge of their hospital had ZERO knowledge of this happening. Usually the OIC (Andy’s boss) is in on every discussion and decision about who comes to his ER… so what the heck. I guess, luckily, Andy’s boss loves him and is on our side, fight to right this absolute injustice. He texted, “Andy is our best ER physician, we can’t afford to lose him… I have never seen the Army screw over someone as much as what is happening to Jackson right now.” It’s comforting that he has our back, I just pray his sway is as powerful as his anger is right now.

So needless to say, I was a wreck. Andy and I have been fighting a cold all week, so we weren’t feeling great to begin with, but then this bomb was dropped on us. That night, I went downstairs to fetch something and slipped on a bag my kids had left on the stairs. I sprained my ankle and bruised my arm. I was like, “REALLY!? Just salt the wound man.” I was feeling pretty beat down. I prayed that night, asking for the Lord to send some angels to help us right this wrong and be there to comfort me, because I needed to feel like someone cared, because apparently, the army cares zero amount. The next day, I was picking up my kids from school and Bev handed me a treat from her valentine’s bag. “Do you want this candy, Mom?” I took it and saw that it was a Werthers original. As I popped it into my mouth I said, “These were my grandma’s favorite candy.” Andy suddenly I knew that she was there. That this was her quiet way to say, “I’ve got you.” And I know she does. As if that little moment wasn’t enough, I got in the car to meet a friend yesterday and put on Andy Grammar. The song, She’d Say, all about his deceased mom was the first song to pop up. They lyrics, “You’ll always have me, I’m watching everything you do.” and “You are so much stronger than you even think you are,” resonated within me. It was just another cardinal moment where my ancestors, and specifically my grandma was saying, “We’re here. We got you.” It is a bit overwhelming to think about how many ancestors have come before that have my back. I am sure they have many descendants to watch over, they’re not all at my door, but angels are among us. Andy had a moment in the temple where he heard his grandpa tell him he was proud of his wood working. I thought that was such a sweet moment and I can just picture him saying it too. That man loved working with wood and we have many pieces in our house that are a reminder of that.

I know we have an army of heavenly angels watching over us, but I also know that we have earthly angels. I have a few friends who listened to me cry over Marco Polo or in person amongst those was Holly, Lindsay, Krista, Stephanie, and my sisters and sister in law, not to mention my parents. I told them first, so I was still very emotional and could barely get the words out. But there is one more person I want to mention. Thursday night when I was praying for angels, I specifically prayed for someone to bring something to me, to show me love. I know this is kind of a self-centered thing to pray for, but I was feeling very low. I didn’t say these words, because I thought they were too specific, but I thought of them as I prayed for someone… I wanted homemade bread. There is something so soothing and comforting about it. I know I could make my own bread, but there is also something incredibly nourishing and like a warm embrace when someone brings you one of their own. But like I said, I dismissed the thought and was grateful for any act of kindness. The next day, I got a text from one of my friends that I don’t do a lot with, but we work out at the gym together on occasion and chat at preschool drop off and pickup. She said, “Hey! I’ve been wanting to bring you a meal since you helped us out in December and I’m finally getting around to it. I’m going to bring it tomorrow!” I initially wanted to be like, “I didn’t help you to get a free meal! I loved watching your kids! They were so sweet. I don’t help people to get something in return!” But I paused before sending and added, “But thank you, that is really sweet. You are actually an answer to prayer…” and told her about my prayer the night before. Saturday she showed up on my doorstep with homemade bread and a meal I can freeze for when Andy’s going to be gone. I almost started crying it was so sweet. She told me, “I’m so sorry this has taken me so long to make you a meal!” I reiterated that I don’t need free food when I help people in need, but that this was the week she was supposed to bring me the meal. Her act of kindness meant more to me than she could know. And homemade bread! I was so touched!

As hard as this week has been, can you see all of the miracles? God is in our lives, in the details. He is mindful of us and has armies of righteous Angels watching over us. Thursday, I was an emotional wreck, but Friday and Saturday I felt peace and strength to get stuff done around the house and move forward. I know that was only possible because I had angels buoying me up. Hard things happen, but so do good things. And sometimes, the good things seem so much brighter and sweeter when you’re going through the hard things.