I hosted book club this week. We read, “The Let Them Theory, by Mel Robbins. My friend, Holly Petty, recommended it to me. I think everyone who read it really took something from it. Here were a few takeaways I had:
My sister-in-law, Sara, had a grandma that would sub at my high school. She has a gypsy heritage and as well as a gift to be able to look at someone and tell them what their strengths and weaknesses were. She wrote down two pages about me and on them she told me I needed to “lift and not drag, some people cannot or will not run as fast as you.” I have long pondered on this statement and struggled to know how you “lift” to motivate others instead of criticizing or dragging them along (probably against their will). Mel addressed this and said that as we set the example and invite them to join, but not pressuring them, then they are much more likely to come along, but it may take some time for them to realize that they want to come and that we need to let them have that time. We also need to let them sit in their discomfort. If we are always stepping in to rescue them then they will never feel the natural consequence that will motivate them to want to change. Sometimes seeing those we love sit in discomfort, even at their own device, can make us uncomfortable too, but the let them theory encourages us to let us and let them sit in that moment to enable a catalyst for change.
This Saturday we went with some friends to Mary Poppins at a nearby high school. It was actually quite good. The main actors did a phenomenal job. The costumes were on point as well as the choreography. I LOVED the chimney sweep song. We had a few nights of baseball this week and are headed into the tournament week this next week. Maverick’s team has done ok, not his best team, but he’s grown and learned a lot. There was one kid on his team that looked terrified of being at bat and honestly, for that kid, facing his fear every game was probably a win in and of itself.
Andy and I looked at four more houses on Thursday. We actually liked three of the houses a lot (one of the houses gave me a headache due to the smell, so that one was an instant pass). But unfortunately, one of the houses was on a property that would probably be next to logging for the foreseeable future and after that it was anyone’s guess as to what would be done with that property. It also didn’t have any young neighbors nearby, so playdates would have to be scheduled more in advanced. One of the other houses reminded me of my grandma Ila’s backyard (minus the addition of the pool). It had wrought iron balcony railings, just like my grandma had, but there wasn’t a pantry in that house, and with a family of 6, that would not work. So, that leaves the last house. Andy really wants it and I really like it, I am just having to get over the distance from our current life, and shifting my mind from a house with acreage. We are still young-ish, and this house has really good schools for our kids. Maybe when they’ve all moved out, we can look at getting some land without having to worry about school ratings as much. The kids really want the house too, though they are a little sad to not have as easy of an access to playing with the Durrants. I told them that they’re lucky we’re only going to be 25 min from the Durrants, because when I moved when I was there age, I had to catch a plane if I wanted to see my friends. I think this move can be a really good thing for our family. But change is hard. I’ve been reflecting a lot on revelation. I felt really good about the house we initially put an offer on. I prayed a lot about whether it would be the right thing for us. We went to the temple and still felt good about it… until we didn’t. We went in for a second look and after the experience we had with the owner, we felt that it was best to leave it alone and move on. I wondered why I had felt so good about it before that and I’ve come to a couple of conclusions. First of all, everyone has agency. It could’ve been a good place for our family, maybe even great, but that doesn’t take away the seller’s agency. Secondly, perhaps the Lord wanted us to go through the process of decision making on our own free will before allowing something to happen that would steer us in a different direction. He probably knows that I’d pick the path of least resistance (or change in this case) and there really isn’t anything in our current area that would fit our family and our family’s needs besides crazy lady’s houses. There’s also a part of me that feels more comfortable with this other house we now have our eyes on because it is currently owned by devout members. It’s not a deciding factor, but it does put my mind at ease knowing that negotiations will be fair and honest. It’ll be hard to change schools, wards, and especially neighbors, but we’ll never know what more the Lord has in store for us if we only stick with what is comfortable.
